Well… Here we go again. Another Day 1. I feel like there’s been so many day 1’s. 8 days ago was my last day 1, yet here we meet again.

They’re growing on me. Day 1 symbolizes so much: my failure at staying sober, it highlights my weaknesses, but it is also a perfect example of the AWE-some love and grace of my Father. That everything before this current day 1 has been forgiven, the slate wiped clean. This Day 1 is a fresh start, a new beginning.  I’m gonna go ahead and live in the truth today because the latter, honestly, sounds freakin depressing.

I figure since this is  new beginning, I’ll start by sharing a brief history about my journey and my past.  (DISCLAIMER: I’m not ashamed, I am who I am today because of my past. I’m a diffemt person today. Judgements not welcome.)
I moved around at least once a year my whole life. My Dad is a rough n tough, jack of all trades, biker dude. My Mom is a short, tiny little lady with a lot of health problems.  They were married my whole life up until this last year, where they separated for good. It’s a gong show which we’ll get into another time haha. I barely see or talk to either of them anymore. They are “doing them”, so yeah, I’ll just leave them to so that. I have 1 full sister, and 4 step sisters, which I rarely ever see or talk to. No brothers. Addiction runs deep in our family. My personal opinion is that I was predisposed to addiction. I’ve been addicted to drugs and alcohol since I was 15? So about 13 years. Over the last few years I’ve been to numerous different treatment facilities and attempted various programs. I learned lots and was able to get sober but ultimately rehab didn’t do the trick.

I am so happy to say that with he help of my husband, family And my community, and of course Jesus, I’ve been clean from drugs for over 1 whole year now !!!!! Woo who! Alcohol seems to really have a grasp on me and I find its so much harder to kick. I am getting longer periods of time between my slips and they are lasting for shorter time periods. I have to constantly work on this every day.

If anyone has advice or can share their experience, please do!! What has worked for you guys?

What am I doing today? Baking, cause I love too, blogging, cause I can, and trying to fix my beautiful disaster of a Life. First on my list: 1. Repair damaged relationship with in-laws whom I drunk texted last month. This should be interesting. Chat soon. Nik

#recovery #mentalhealth

 

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