Haaaaayyy guys! Happy Thursday! Yes, happy it is. Let’s get right to it…

UPDATE: We completed the experiment on Wednesday afternoon, last week. The results? Very unfavorable for me that particular day. I did choose to get shitfaced, knowing I was “allowed” too, on an empty stomach, and I got really sick. I woke up the next day with a very foggy memory, and a guilty conscious. I have not drank since. However, I have still had thoughts about drinking and days where I was sure I was going too, but I didn’t. I remembered the outcome of my last escapade, and I don’t really care to relive that. As far as that mental connection goes, I do believe that removing the taboo stigma and the negative emotions around my relationship with alcohol has helped to give me enough confidence to make my own choice to engage or not. My Father gives me everything else I need to say no. 

Today I wanted to discuss something so very very important to me, communication. One amazing quality that I picked up on my journey through counsellors, treatment centers, therapy sessions and more, was the ability to communicate. I don’t just mean the ability to articulate words and sentences and physically speak them. I’m also talking about the ability to ask for what I want and need, to stand up for myself if I don’t agree or understand something or someone. Most importantly, the ability to open my heart and my life and tell my true story, to admit to my faults and weaknesses. All of them, with no sugar coating. To invite people into my messy life and my everyday struggles. To humble myself enough to admit when I’ve fucked up. 

For so long I have thought so many people judged me for what I’ve been through or what I’ve done. That people were interested in my life because it was a disaster, thus entertaining. Everyone likes having a scapegoat around, someone to blame things on. Finally it hit me. They do! But that’s okay. We are all grow adults, and we are all responsible to communicate properly with one another. If someone is doing something that hurts, annoys or frustrates me, it is 100% my responsibility to communicate that to them. We’re not mind readers people!! I have found that my most successful and respected relationships are the ones where we break down our walls and open our hearts to speaking to one another. Being open,being love. 

So why do I not care that people, think, assume, or judge whatever they do about me? Because, small minds don’t communicate those things. If they aren’t spoken out loud, or discussed, they hold no value to me. Great things are worth talking about! 

I am forever grateful for my loud mouth, my confident speech, my speaking my mind, my asking the uncomfortable questions and most importantly, for being bold enough to be truthful and honest about life, about my life. God gave me THIS life, THIS journey, THIS testimony, and HE gave it to ME because I am strong enough to live it! HE chose ME because I am meant to live it and I can confidently say boy, am I living! 
Xo. 
#sorrynotsorry #god #mentalhealth #selflove #communication

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