It has been said that imitation is the strongest form of flattery; but sometimes it doesn’t feel that way. Over the last year or so of my life I have noticed my creativity being duplicated on many levels. As of late this has really started to hit a nerve with me when another form of my work had been replicated, almost to a T. At first I ignited with anger and frustration that this had happened to me AGAIN. This time, I decided to take a deeper look into these emotions that I was feeling. Perhaps these feelings are really more about myself than about said person; and so with a flashlight, and my trusty Father, I looked inside myself.
So I was asked, “what is it about this replica of your work that is frustrating you?” Here are a few of the things we came up with…
1.My blog is a very intimate place where I spend a lot of time in deep thought and prayer processing my thoughts and emotions; sharing that process in writing with others. To me this is a special, even sacred, place; not something to be ripped off and recreated.
2.My sharing my feelings on such a public platform was once scrutinized by this person, only to be recreated by them.
3.I put a lot of pride in my differences and my uniqueness; I actually place much of my identity in my creative ability and having the confidence to be open about my “special” qualities.
In processing through this with a good friend, we asked “If those are the things that are frustrating you, what does that mean for you?” The corresponding thoughts were as so…
1.It means that I feel as though my thoughts and emotions are not valid if they can so easily be imitated. That they somehow lose their power and don’t mean anything.
2.It means that this brings up the old hurts of when I was originally scrutinized. The original hurts made me feel that I was doing something wrong by having an extreme amount of self-awareness and being bold enough to share my story with the world. I felt that I was bad. I felt that my emotions were not okay to feel, or express. I dealt with that, only for it to be brought back up again.
3.It means that if my creativity and imagination are copied, I feel that I may then those credit for the time, heart, and the thought that I put into my original creations. It also means that I feel like my voice is being suffocated, or somehow unheard. I would no longer receive validation or affirmation from others, therefore, I will feel less loved.
As my processing continued I was furthermore asked, “What does the Lord say over these things?” And so….
1.He says that he created me from dust. He created me to create beauty to share with the world. My creativity is not a mood, or a gift, my creativity is the nature of God inside me. Because I am created unique, and one of a kind, I can never be replicated. He says that my ideas and designs may be replicated, but their true purpose cannot. The way my words touch others, cannot be. The way my works help and resonate with others, can never be duplicated.
2.He says that He is the King of my heart, and He is bigger and stronger than any hurts I will ever experience; every time. When I turn to Him, he will take all my burdens. He says that I am perfect in His eyes. When He was knitting me together in my mother’s womb He put an extreme amount of self-awareness in my heart. He put me in touch with my emotions. He made me able to recognize my feelings and express them, and he gave me a personality bold as a lion. He planned out my whole life to be a story of love, and hope, and joy, and He planned for me to share that story with the world.
3.The Lord did not put me in this world to see how important I can become. I don’t need to worry about trying to find validation or affirmation from others because they WILL recognize me. They will recognize me because they will recognize HIM IN ME. He says I don’t have to worry about love. As long as He is existing, I will be loved. He says that He hears me every time I speak. He hears the words I don’t speak. He finds my voice through the thunder, everytime, every word. He says that I matter.
There were so many more points to this process. It took a deep heartfelt talk with an amazing woman of God, and a listening ear from my husband, but through giving the Lord every burden I was carrying; I received the true peace I was seeking. I learned that I am good. He loves me not because I am good, but because HE is good (Rom. 5:8). I learned that I am His perfect masterpiece and there is NO SHAME in that. Not one bit. I learned that the more I fill myself with God’s truth, the less I need validation from others.
I am walking down a beautiful path on the journey to becoming the woman who God desires me to be. He has me on a lifelong journey that is teaching me how to love Him with my whole heart, body, soul & spirit. I’m happy to be on this journey, every single day.
While processing through this hurt I researched a lot of other avenues of healing as well. Just as I blog to inspire others, I came across this man Tom’s blog. His words are eloquent, sincere, and the truest form I have read. When I first spoke to Tom I asked Him if I could quote some of his amazing words; then I realized it all must be shared. Tom’s words brought me back to reality and reminded me that I am an original work of art. Anything else is just secondhand. As Tom writes “It’s easy to be secondhand, they don’t have to think or feel.” Of all the things I know about myself, I can be sure that I WANT to think, and I WANT to feel; heck, I NEED too. I want to feel absolutely every moment of life, good and bad; cause if you’re not feeling you might as well be dead.
If you keep reading on I have shared Tom’s blog. He is extremely wise, and speaks only truths. He uses big language, and precise words. I had to google a few of em’, haha. I encourage you to click on the link, read this post, visit his page, and read his other works. They are beautifully and perfectly created; just as each of us is.
Chat soon xo
Comparing yourself to others is a two-fold process that usually involves measurement and techniques (involving duality) that are superfluous (and that may very well dull the mind). If many are immersed in dull habits, superficial behaviors, and limited perspectives, comparing yourself with them and then emulating them may, indeed, tend to make the mind […]